I was recently talking about the difference between being a dad and being a father during my appearance on the World’s Greatest Dad podcast.

That conversation reminded me of a story I didn’t share on the show, one that still stands out to me as a defining parenting moment. It’s a story about judgment, restraint, and doing the harder thing when it would have been easier to take the popular route.

A few years ago, my son Harper came to us with a request. He wanted to go to Astroworld, Travis Scott’s music festival in Houston. He was fifteen years old at the time.

My wife and I immediately felt conflicted. We understood why he wanted to go, and we respected the independence he was starting to show. At the same time, the scale of the event, the size of the crowd, and the lack of real control gave us pause. There were simply too many unknowns.

Still, instead of defaulting to a flat “no”, we saw an opportunity to teach him something meaningful.

So we told him that if he wanted to go, he needed to pitch us.

We asked him to show us who he would be with, how he planned to get there and back, what safety measures were in place, how he would handle an emergency, and why he believed the experience was worth the risk. We wanted him to research the venue, understand the logistics, and think through the variables like an adult would.

We told him to build the case, and we promised we would listen.

This wasn’t about being his dad. Being a dad is fun. Dads like to say “yes.” Dads like to be the good guy. This was about being his father. 

Being a father means taking responsibility for decisions your kids aren’t yet equipped to fully make on their own. It’s not always fun.

Harper took the assignment seriously.

He researched the venue and mapped out transportation. He identified which friends were going and gathered their parents’ contact information. He even reviewed safety protocols and crowd management plans. He put real thought and effort into it.

When he was done, he presented it to us.

We listened carefully. We asked questions. We respected the work he put in. And after all of that, we still said “no”.

Not because his pitch was bad. It wasn’t. It was thoughtful and well-prepared. But because our gut told us something wasn’t right. The risk still felt too high, the environment too unpredictable, and our son too young.

That is where parenting becomes uncomfortable.

You recognize the effort. You see your child stepping up. You want to reward that growth. But you also understand that your job isn’t to be liked in the moment. Your job is to protect them, even when the answer disappoints them.

Harper was frustrated. He was disappointed. He may have been angry. All of that was fair.

Then Astroworld happened.

Ten people lost their lives. Hundreds were injured. It became one of the most tragic concert disasters in modern history. This was not an “I told you so” moment. There was nothing to feel right about. It was a heartbreaking tragedy.

But it was also something we avoided.

A few days later, Harper came to us and said, “Thanks for not letting me go.”

That moment stayed with me.

Teaching kids how to pitch isn’t about helping them get their way. It’s about teaching them how to think critically, how to prepare, how to anticipate objections, and how to advocate for themselves responsibly.

Sometimes their case will be strong enough to change your mind.

Sometimes it won’t.

But either way, they walk away with a skill that will serve them for the rest of their lives. In interviews. In relationships. In leadership roles. In moments when they need to speak up with clarity and confidence.

Harper didn’t get to go to Astroworld.

But he learned how to make a case, how to handle a hard “no,” and how to trust that sometimes the people who love you most see the risks you can’t yet see for yourself.

That’s life training.

At fifteen. And again at fifty-three.

In health,

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