Fight or Flight

About six weeks ago, my son Auden came to me and said, “Dad, there’s this boxing event at CU. It’s sanctioned by USA Boxing. You apply, they set you up with a trainer for eight weeks, and it ends with a three-round fight at the Boulder Theater. I want to do it.”

And then he said the part that floored me:

“I see how you train. I’ve enjoyed boxing with you and Will. I haven’t always taken it seriously. But I’m a senior now. I think it’ll be good for me—physically, mentally, for discipline, even for my grades. And you did it when you were my age. I want to give it a shot.”

That’s when I had to stop myself from tearing up.

When your son wants to follow in your footsteps, it feels like the ultimate compliment and the ultimate responsibility. It means they’ve been watching, quietly taking notes, even when you thought they weren’t paying attention. And it means you’ve been doing something right, at least enough that they see value in walking the same path. (The same is true if you’re making some crappy life choices.)

I told him: “Let’s check it out. Let’s make sure it’s safe, legit, and that you understand the commitment.”

We checked. It’s legit. He applied, he got accepted, he’s got a trainer, and he’s been putting in the work. Fight night is October 7 in Boulder.

Of course, his mom doesn’t love the idea. But she gets it. One of our first dates was her watching me fight in a three-round smoker in Union Square at age 25. (That probably should have been a red flag, but here we are.)

Here’s the point: if you think your kids aren’t watching how you live, you’re wrong.

I don’t “coach” my sons. I coach men, my clients. To my sons, I’m just Dad. I like it that way.

Auden’s 22. I don’t need to coach him. He sees it. All of it. He’s living his own life, having his fun in college—the drinking, partying, late nights. But he’s also realizing there’s more. That fun can take different forms. He holds down a job and a solid GPA. He knows what’s expected of him. We’ve talked about it all. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look for “coaching” or teaching moments though. That comes with the territory. 

He’s starting to understand the concept that structure and discipline actually give you freedom. It feels good to be strong, confident, and capable.

And he’s learning it way earlier than I ever did.

Boxing is just the backdrop. It’s not about fighting or being “tough.” This will likely be a one-and-done, but there’s something about having the courage to get in the ring and let the best man win. It’s about healthy habits, consistency, focus, and knowing that you’re loved and supported no matter what.

I think every man needs to know what it feels like to get punched in the face at least once in his life. To feel fear. Get knocked down. And have to get back up. It’s humbling. It builds character.

Like Tyson said: “Everyone’s got a plan until they get punched in the face.”

Win or lose, Auden is going to learn. But the biggest lesson is already happening in the work he’s putting in every day.

And as a dad, I couldn’t be prouder.

Midlife Lately (Click the pic)…

PS: While I don’t “coach” my kids, I do coach a select few men 1:1 every quarter and we’re coming up on the most important time of the year; 4th quarter.  This is the time to finish strong and set the foundation for your best year yet.  

Through the 6F’s Model I’ve developed I help you design the life you want by looking at these key areas and turning those Fs into As. My methodology regarding work and life is simple: Turning the F’s – Family, Fitness, Finance, Food, Fashion & Fun into A’s to live the life you want If you’re looking to live happier, healthier, wealthier, stronger, and have more fun in midlife, just reply “coach” to this email and we can set up a discovery call.  Qualifications: M40-60, 90 day minimum commitment, 10k investment. 

Recommendation:

We all have friends, couples, and even our grown kids who’ve struggled with fertility.  Kate and I struggled with it for years.  And couples are having children later in life, which means men need to keep their swimmers in fighting form. I’ve been waiting to share this with y’all for a while now and I finally can.  

My friend Osman Khan just launched SwimClub, the first clinically-formulated sperm performance supplement, with a mission to reshape the conversation around male reproductive health.  Three years ago, Osman and his wife Lauren went through several rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages before they had their son. Throughout, they did everything to maximize their chances.  

What he learned was that it’s alarming how wildly inadequate almost all existing sperm health supplements are. There needed to be a better science-backed solution with a complete stack of the highest quality ingredients with all the clinical requirements needed to affect sperm health. No fillers, no boosters, no add ons, just everything you need at the doses you need it in, in one solution. 

The narrative around men’s fertility needs to change. Much like the transformation of the dialogue in ED and hair loss, it stands to reason that a brand was needed that spoke to men more directly about one of the most fundamental "emotional health" concerns, fertility. And shifting the legacy narrative of fertility as a proxy for virility to one of fertility as a source of vitality and potential. And that’s the mission of SwimClub.  

In health,

Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach. Student of the game.
Still walking the walk.