Full Heart, Empty Nest

A Dad’s Final Thoughts Before Both Boys are In College

Greg here! Welcome to The Middle, the mid-week newsletter where I share real stories and recommendations directly from me to you.

Presented By:

I’ve gotten really into honey lately. Specifically Manukora. This is honey with superpowers. Pure, high-grade Manuka honey packed with nutrients that support immunity, digestion, and more. It’s the best honey in the world, hands down. If you care about your immune health, this is a must. Use code MIDLIFEMALE to try Manukora honey.

Full Heart, Empty Nest: A Dad’s Final Thoughts Before Both Boys are In College

By Greg Scheinman

This week, all four of us are together. I set the dinner table for four for the first time in far too long. We wanted one week together before taking my son Harper to LA for his freshman year and my oldest son, Auden, back to Boulder for his senior year.

We thought we’d take a vacation, but instead, we’ve been funding our dentist’s kids’ college tuition. Harper had his wisdom teeth out, I had a cap replaced, my wife Kate had a root canal, and Auden escaped with just a cavity. We all brush and floss, I swear.

The time together, though, has been invaluable. My favorite night? Sitting on the couch, between both boys, binge-watching Entourage until we all fell asleep.

On Sunday, Auden and I will continue our three-year tradition of road-tripping to Boulder, spending a couple of days together before I fly to LA to meet Kate and Harper for move-in day. I’m already dreading the flight home.

All I ever wanted to be was a dad. Not part-time. Not distracted. Full-time. I’ve never been someone who lives to work. I work to live. The only work that’s ever truly worked for me has had purpose—and nothing has felt more purposeful than being a good father.

Yes, I’ll always be their dad, but this season is different. Auden turned 22 last week. Harper will be 19 soon. They haven’t been little boys for a long time, yet in my heart, they always will be.

I’m scared because life will keep changing, and I can’t control it. 

I’m excited because I see the men they’re becoming.

I’m filled with possibility because there’s room now to redefine our relationships as adults.

And I’m sad because this one stings.

Having one son in college and one son at home has been the best of both worlds. With Harper, I still had late-night burger runs, kitchen talks, basketball games, and quiet moments on the couch. 

With Auden, I had Monday FaceTimes, CU football weekends, long hikes, river plunges, and 15-hour road trips where we found every Dairy Queen along the route and I got to introduce him to good music, while he got to introduce me to what he calls music (it’s not…) 

Now, it feels like the end of a chapter I’m not quite ready to close.

I’ve tried to raise my boys with integrity, resilience, curiosity, and kindness. To be unafraid of mistakes and eager for wins. I’ve told them:

“You’ll always have a home here, but my job now is to let you go build your own. You’ll always have my support, but my role now is to watch, listen, and advise when you ask. You’ll always have my love, and that will never change. This chapter might be closing, but your story is just beginning. As much as I’ll miss the day-to-day, I’m excited to see the lives you create and the men you grow into. You’re moving farther away, yet we’re becoming closer.”

For Every Dad Entering the Empty Nest

If you’re about to watch your kids leave for college—or already have—you’ll probably feel some version of what I’m feeling: pride, sadness, excitement, loss, possibility.

Over the years, working with midlife men, I’ve noticed patterns in what helps dads thrive in this transition… and what keeps them stuck.

The 5 Biggest Mistakes Empty-Nester Dads Make

  1. Losing Structure
    Without kids’ schedules, it’s easy to drift. That drift leads to boredom or bad habits.
    Fix it: Build a new weekly rhythm with anchors for fitness, relationships, and personal time.

  2. Over-Indexing on Work
    Extra time often gets filled with extra hours at the office.
     Fix it: Create boundaries and schedule hobbies, exploration, and rest.

  3. Neglecting Health
    Without the incidental activity of parenting, movement drops off just as metabolism slows.
    Fix it: Commit to sustainable strength, mobility, and recovery practices. Get regular checkups.

  4. Letting Relationships Atrophy
    Your kids’ activities used to be your social life. Without them, friendships can fade.
     Fix it: Schedule time with friends. Join communities. Reinvest in your marriage or partnership.

  5. Avoiding Reinvention
    Clinging to your old identity can lead to stagnation.
     Fix it: Ask yourself what you want the next 20 years to look like. Try something new that stretches you.

Empty nesting isn’t the end, it’s the start of your next chapter. The biggest risk is coasting through it. The biggest reward is that, with the kids launched, you have more freedom than you’ve had in decades. What you do with that freedom will define the quality of the rest of your life.

Here’s to living and leading by example.

In Health,

Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach. Student of the game.
Still walking the walk.

Reply

or to participate.