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Morning, Greg here!

Welcome to Midlife Male, the fastest-growing, #1 newsletter and lifestyle brand for men 40+. In today’s issue we’ve got my Viewpoint on How Ditching Old Routines Keep You Fresh, Jon’s Manologue on the Downsides of DoorDash, our How I See It with leadership coach Jerry Colonna, and, as always, our 6F recs. If a fellow MLM reader shared this with you, subscribe here:

By Greg Scheinman

What got you here, isn’t going to get you there…

For years, I had an SOP (a standard operating procedure) for how I lived my days.

It was built around two standards that I still believe in completely: 

The first is that I need to exercise every day, and the second is that I need to write every day. 

That’s my health. That’s my work. 

Those two things anchor everything else in my life.

My school of thought was simple: wake up early, work out, then go win the day and produce creatively. Exercise first. Write later. That was the order. That was the system.

But the thing about a Standard Operating Procedure is that over time they gain inertia. Once you’ve been doing it long enough, it stops being a choice. It becomes “just how you do things.” You start to believe that changing it would mean you’re slipping. Deviating. Falling off your standards.

That belief is wrong.

In fact, it’s dangerous.

The most dangerous phrase we use on ourselves is, “This is how I’ve always done it.” Because it shuts down growth and wisdom. In this case, it keeps you stuck running an old operating system long after it stops serving you… Let me tell you how to fix it:

By Jon Finkel

I posted this short, amusing story (below) about an older guy, his daughter, and DoorDash on X and it got nearly a half-million views and thousands of shares in one day. I shared it mostly because it made me laugh and I agreed with the guy, but then it took off. 

At first I thought it resonated because the man made a clever point about how most of modern consumer technology is redundant and not at all necessary, but as the comments poured in, I realized I was wrong. 

The story touched a nerve not because of how consumer tech often gives us things we don’t want or need, but because of how it often takes away things we do want that we didn’t know we’d miss.

Here’s the exact post and then I’ll explain more:

An older guy (late 70s) at my swim practice told me this funny story and it questioned why DoorDash exists and I love how right he is. Makes too much sense. Here’s my quick paraphrase:

He said, “So my daughter got me this gift card for a thing called DoorDash for my phone. It’s an app.

So I asked her what it was. She said, you can order food with it. Like pizza or Chinese food.

So I said, I already order that stuff.

And she said how?

And I said, I just call the restaurant and tell them what I want. And they deliver it.

And she said now you can use the app. And I asked why?

And she said, this way you don’t have to call.

And I said, I like calling. My guy at the pizza place knows my order already. He’s nice. From Queens. Mets fan. Can I talk to him in the app?

She says no.

So I tell her to keep the gift card.”

A perfect response, right? For this guy, the zillion-dollar app has no utility. In fact, it’s taking away part of the personal experience that he enjoys, which is an experience that many of us who grew up in the 80s and 90s used to enjoy: knowing your pizza guy or delivery kid or the guy who ran your local sandwich shop! If you remember that time, and how great it was, this column is for you. Let’s take a trip down local menus memory lane:

By Greg Scheinman

This week’s episode of How I See It is one of those conversations that stays with you long after you close your laptop or take out your earbuds. It’s with Jerry Colonna, the founder of Reboot and the author of the book Reboot, and it’s centered around something most of us have never really stopped to examine: what it means for our work and our lives to be non-violent.

Jerry has spent more than 20 years exploring the idea that work shouldn’t destroy us. It shouldn’t erode who we are. It shouldn’t damage our relationships or our sense of self. It shouldn’t chew us up physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. And when he says “non-violent,” he’s not talking about confrontation or conflict - he’s talking about the subtle, slow, everyday kind of harm we inflict on ourselves without even realizing it. The pressure. The expectations. The self-judgment. The chasing. The belief that our worth is measured in accomplishments, titles, applause, or whatever we’ve convinced ourselves we’re supposed to be building.

We dove into what non-violence in work actually means, and what it looks like to practice it. And from there, the conversation unfolded into this honest, vulnerable, sometimes uncomfortable look into how we grow up as men, how we define success, how we inherit stories that don’t serve us, and how we pass those stories on unless we consciously choose not to.

Jerry shared his own midlife unraveling and rebuilding. I shared mine. That part of realizing you’ve created a life that looks good on paper, but feels empty on the inside. That question of whether it’s the system that’s broken or whether it’s you - or whether it’s both at the same time. That tension between gratitude and dissatisfaction. The guilt that comes with wanting more when you already have “enough.” And the honesty required to admit you might have played a role in creating the circumstances you say you never wanted.

We also talked about our kids, about what it means to model growth instead of perfection, and about how becoming a father, and recently  a grandfather in Jerry’s case, forces you to see the world and your choices differently. There’s a moment in the conversation where we talk about release instead of reinvention, letting go of the things that keep you small, instead of trying to become some new, shiny, optimized version of yourself. That landed for me. Hard.

What I admire and respect about Jerry, is that he’s not preaching. He’s not promising a five-step plan. He’s inviting us into a different way of being; the kind that starts with radical self-inquiry and a willingness to ask the hardest question of all: How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?

That’s the work. That’s midlife. That’s what we’re all trying to figure out here.

So if you’re in a season where things feel off, where you’re questioning your direction or your identity or the cost of the life you’ve been living… or if you’re just curious about how to grow without burning everything down, this conversation is worth your time.

Here it is, my conversation with Jerry Colonna. I hope it hits you the way it hit me.

From Greg: I’ve had this idea for a new column called “Texts I Send to My Sons” for a while now, and I think it is time to start posting it weekly on social and linking it here. The truth is, most men would be better off if we followed more of the advice we give our kids, we just often don’t stop to think about it.

Whenever my sons need something from me, ask for guidance, or I send them a lesson unsolicited because I read or saw something that might help, it ends up helping me too. It reminds me that I have to stay committed, practice what I preach, and keep learning. Here is this week’s text to my sons:

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We came across an article this week that hit home. As guys who are committed to extending our health span and lifespan, the financial side of that equation matters just as much as the physical. This survey showed the new “retirement number” for professionals has climbed to about $1.28 million, while nearly half of Americans expect to retire with less than $500,000 saved. A quarter won’t reach $250,000. Think about that.

The savings gap is real, and it’s a reminder that longevity is only a gift if you can afford to enjoy it. We talk a lot about training, recovery and optimizing our bodies, but optimizing our finances is part of the same mission. Know your number. Build a system. Automate your savings. Audit your spending. Protect your downside.

The goal isn’t to retire early. It’s to live well, stay strong and have the freedom to keep doing what you want for as long as you can. Read it here.

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The Patagonia Retro Pile Fleece Jacket is a staple. Greg grabbed it in the Pelican colorway and it is soft, comfortable, versatile and sharp. A medium fits him perfectly. It works in California, Colorado, and anywhere in between. It is one of those iconic pieces that never goes out of style and always earns a spot in the rotation.

No, this is not some tasteless joke or crass comment. This is a story told, hysterically, from Conan himself, on his own podcast, with Will Arnett and it involves Jason Bateman. That’s all you need to know. We’ll say nothing else. Just enjoy these next two minutes:

Troy Aikman on Reinvention, Wrestling Demons and What Success Looks Like

Laird Hamilton’s Blueprint for Ageless Living and Unstoppable Energy

15 Pieces of Wisdom from Chef Robert Irvine

MLM Founder: Greg Scheinman / Follow Greg on Instagram & LinkedIn

Love Greg’s Viewpoint column? Visit the full Viewpoint Vault HERE where he shares his personal insights, experiences and perspectives on everything affecting midlife.

MLM Editor-in-Chief: Jon Finkel / Follow Jon on Twitter/X and Instagram

Love Jon’s Manologue column? Check out the full Manologue Archive HERE where he writes about pop culture, parenthood, sports, nostalgia & everything in between.

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