Invisible Obstacles

A Quick Update Before We Get Started...

Last Wednesday we made the biggest announcement in Midlife Male history and the response has been tremendous. If you missed it, we’re moving to a paid subscription model on August 17th. You can read my full column on why right here.

So many men have already joined Midlife Male Premium and it’s been very gratifying to have our DMs and emails fill up with two impactful words from readers: “I’m IN.”

If you've been thinking about joining us, the introductory Premium Member offer is available for 28 more days. Premium includes our Wednesday and Sunday editions, monthly live conversations with Greg, Jon and special guests, our complete resource library (nearly a dozen e-books included), members-only chat, exclusive event pricing, and much more. All for under $7/month with our launch offer. 

We’re incredibly proud of where Midlife Male is headed, and we're even more excited about who we’re building it with: you.

For the past few months, I've noticed the same guy at my gym. He's there almost every morning around nine. Early fifties. Works with a couple of different trainers. He's in good shape, but not the kind of shape that makes everyone stop and stare. Strong. Capable. Consistent. The kind of guy who's clearly there because he wants to feel good and stay in the game, not because he's chasing six-pack abs or trying to impress anyone.

A couple of months ago, we ended up in the locker room together and started talking. As he changed, I noticed his chest and abdomen were covered with surgical scars. It was obvious he'd been through something significant. I didn't ask what happened, but I immediately found myself looking at him differently. Whatever he'd gone through, he'd fought his way back. Here he was, smiling, training hard and quietly rebuilding himself. It also reminded me how easy it is to make assumptions. If you passed him on the street, you might think he could stand to lose a few pounds or train a little harder. You'd never know what he'd overcome just to be standing there.

That thought stayed with me.

This morning, after my swim, I was outside doing mobility work (the toe exercises for my plantar fasciitis, all the middle-aged-man maintenance that twenty-five-year-old Greg would've laughed at and fifty-three-year-old Greg actually looks forward to). He walked by, so we started talking again. I told him I see him here all the time, always working, always positive, always seeming to enjoy the process and it led to him telling me his story.

He built a successful career in commercial real estate and finance, but he was also a serious alcoholic. The drinking eventually destroyed his liver. Five years ago, he told me, he had hit rock bottom. Since then he's received a liver transplant, committed himself to AA, rebuilt his health, found a great relationship and completely changed the trajectory of his life. Every morning at nine o'clock, he's back in the gym, putting another deposit into the person he's becoming.

I’ve been thinking about this conversation ever since because it reminded me how much inspiration is hiding in plain sight. We spend so much time looking for it in books, podcasts and social media that we forget to look around. A lot of men who appear perfectly fine are carrying stories you'd never imagine. Divorce. Addiction. Cancer. Financial collapse. Depression. Health scares. From the outside they may look ordinary. Under the hood they're fighting battles most of us know nothing about.

That's one of the things I love most about midlife. Comebacks become possible.

The other thing that stayed with me was this: he didn't rebuild by himself. Nobody climbs out of a hole like that through willpower alone. He found a room. AA became one room. The gym became another. He surrounded himself with people who expected him to show up, who were pulling in the same direction, who made the right decisions easier and the wrong ones harder. Over time, those environments stopped being places he visited and became part of who he was.

I think that's how lasting change usually works. You don't wake up one day as a different person. You find better rooms. Better people. Better routines. Then you keep showing up until they become your normal. One day the gym replaces the bar. Early mornings replace late nights. Transactional relationships become real friendships. The life you hoped you could build slowly becomes the life you're actually living.

If you've been wondering when the right day is to start making those changes, don't wait for some perfect moment. Find your room. Then keep showing up.

In health,

PS: I work with a select few men 1:1 to help them make the most of midlife. If you’re interested, let’s talk.  Book a call with me HERE.

This November I'll be in NYC as a Founding Athlete of The SUPER AGE Games, and we're putting together a Midlife Male team.

One fun day, great people, real experts, and the 8 practical tests everyone over 40 should take, the markers researchers use to predict how long you live well: cardiovascular fitness, grip strength, balance, agility, working memory, relational capacity, functional strength, endurance under load. You'll leave with a baseline, some knowledge, a few new friends, and an experience you won't forget.

And here's the kicker: join our new Midlife Male Premium Subscription and I'll send you an exclusive code for $100 off entry to The SUPER AGE Games, basically a full year of Premium, free. 

Email me your confirmation (just reply to this email) and I'll send the code myself.