Morning, Greg here!
Welcome to Midlife Male, the fastest-growing, #1 newsletter and lifestyle brand for men 40+. In today’s issue we’ve got a big How I See It on all the lessons I’ve learned turning 53, Jon’s Manologue on why Philip Rivers is playing for every ex-athlete over 40, and, as always, our 6F recs. If a fellow MLM reader shared this with you, subscribe here:
Reflections and Truths at 53: What I’ve Learned Across 5 Decades and Dozens of Topics
“I think you just come into your own, which is at the heart of what has really developed for me this year and how I think about family, fitness, finance, food, fashion, fun and an unwillingness to compromise in those areas or to be influenced or coaxed into doing things that don’t really feel right for the lifestyle that I’ve designed.”
I’m looking for optimal, not optimized. There’s a difference. Optimal feels good enough. Content. Ambitious. Progressive, but not obsessive. It’s a belief system that says, “this is right for me.”
I didn’t agonize over writing the most profound piece for my birthday. I didn’t lose sleep over whether it was good enough or whether I was good enough. I just started writing, like I’ve done every week for the past six years. Sometimes it’s a hit song. Sometimes it’s just another track on the album. Younger me didn’t understand that.
It’s not that I don’t give a fuck. I do. I’m not even sure I give fewer fucks now. I just only care about the fucks I choose to give. That feels like wisdom.
I’m still a little all over the place. Because that’s what this time of life really is.
The Middle Years: What Changed and What I Locked In
From 47 to 50, I made a lot of changes. I broke old rules. I built and tested new ones. I learned that breaking rules doesn’t mean you’re failing. Sometimes it means you’re evolving.
From 50 to 53, not so much. I locked in. I stuck with what worked. I still added some firsts, but I stopped chasing change for the sake of change. Simple just makes more sense now. With that in mind, I wanted to share a slew of thoughts I’ve had this year, from what I’m no longer doing, to how I’m approaching fitness and finances and even to listing my foundational truths. This one means a lot to me, so read it all here:
Why Philip Rivers is One of Us
By Jon Finkel
Every middle-aged guy who once played high school, college or even pro sports has the same fantasy, and it doesn’t involve money, fame, women or winning a title. It’s a simple dream, really, and it involves one phone call and two words: “suit up”.
That’s it. We just want our skills to be desired one last time. To hear a coach or teammate reach out and say, “we need you, buddy.” Goosebumps. Because there is nothing more dangerous than an ex-athlete in his forties who has been given one more shot at glory.
For 99.9% of us, that flame has been extinguished forever. It’ll never happen. But briefly, these past two Sundays, we got to live vicariously through one of our own when five years after he last took a snap in the NFL, 44-year-old Philip Rivers ran out of the tunnel onto a football field as the starting quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts.
In dad athlete years it was basically a twenty year layoff. The dude might as well have played in a 90s neck roll, billboard-wide Power Pads and chugged grape All-Sport on the sidelines.
So far, he’s thrown for almost 400 yards and 3 touchdowns in two games. That’s three touchdowns more than every other 44-year-old plus man in the world. The Colts lost both games, but we all won and here’s why:
Because Philip Rivers got to do the one thing every single ex-football player dreams of doing. He got to lace ’em up one more time.
I don’t care if you played in the NFL, big time college football, small time college football or you were a punter and fullback at Northern Highlands High School back in ‘96 (see photo below of yours truly, #40), whenever you took off your helmet and pads for the last time it was a sad day. You were never going to play tackle football again. You were never going to be on a football team again. But Philip Rivers is getting one last shot. One last ride. And if you are an ex-high school or college athlete, you’re going to want to read why it matters so much. I wrote this one for all of us:
Why We Don’t Hang Out Anymore (And Why It Matters)
I don’t think hanging out more magically fixes everything. But I do think a lot of what’s broken socially in this country would improve if we spent more time with actual people and less time staring into digital content designed to make us anxious, outraged, and disconnected.
Especially if you have kids, this one is worth your time. It breaks down why Americans have stopped hanging out and what it’s doing to us. Read it here.
The Boring Fitness Stuff That Actually Works
Here it is. The fittest men I know aren’t biohacking, following extreme diets, or living in the gym.
They’re walking 7–10k steps a day.
Lifting weights two to three times a week.
Eating real, whole foods.
Limiting or eliminating alcohol.
Sleeping well.
Don’t major in the minors. Master the basics. If you want to maximize midlife, make this your lifestyle.
Ramit Sethi’s Ten Money Rules Worth Stealing
Ramit Sethi shared ten simple money rules recently, and we agree with pretty much all of them. Sensible. Practical. Built for real life, not Twitter bragging.
If you want a smarter relationship with money without turning into a spreadsheet psychopath, this is a solid framework to steal from. Check it out here.
Support Your Friends. Eat and Drink Better.
Nothing feels better than supporting a friend, especially when that friend makes some of the best drink mixers and garnishes in the world.
I got a great note and some samples from my friend and Filthy founder, Daniel Singer. These are our go-to mixers at Midlife Male. Cocktails or mocktails, doesn’t matter.
Filthy mixers come in sustainable pouches and are made with high-quality, carefully sourced ingredients. Their Bloody Mary mix uses real tomatoes. Their Margarita mix is made with 100 percent real Florida juice and organic blue agave nectar from Jalisco. No shortcuts. No junk. Get yours here.
Let Me Tell You About Jim Perse’s Perfect Overshirt
James Perse’s overshirt is lined with faux shearling, which means it’s warm, comfortable, and easy to wear. It’s made from plush cotton-blend corduroy with a relaxed fit that layers well, so it works just as well as a jacket.
Looks great. Feels great. One of those pieces you throw on and instantly feel put together. An iconic addition to your wardrobe. Get it here.
Have You Tried the Ammortal Chamber?
If you’re into fitness like most of us, then the idea of a new recovery apparatus is fun. Especially when it’s basically a Transformers-level work of art that combines just about every single recovery modality imaginable: meditation, magnetic fields, red light therapy, hydrogen and vibration.
This machine will cost you a cool $160K, but the NFL players who swear by it (the Baltimore Ravens have one at their facility), say it heals injuries and pain faster than anything they’ve ever used. Check it out:
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Read Our MOST POPULAR Cover Stories:
MLM Founder: Greg Scheinman / Follow Greg on Instagram & LinkedIn
Love Greg’s How I See It column? Visit the full How I See It Vault HERE where he shares his personal insights, experiences and perspectives on everything affecting midlife.
MLM Editor-in-Chief: Jon Finkel / Follow Jon on Twitter/X and Instagram
Love Jon’s Manologue column? Check out the full Manologue Archive HERE where he writes about pop culture, parenthood, sports, nostalgia & everything in between.
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