Reflections on self-reliance from a speaking masterclass

The Midlife Male is a newsletter and podcast by Greg Scheinman sharing experiences on aging, success, personal growth, and navigating midlife. If someone forwarded you this newsletter, click here to sign up.

Last week, I flew to Detroit to attend the ImpactEleven Masterclass, a gathering of keynote speakers who are dedicated to honing their craft and getting better together.

Before the event, I received an email from Josh Linkner, one of the founders, who mentioned he would be doing a session on the power of entrepreneurship at the event and wanted me to share a few words about self-reliance, one of the key traits of entrepreneurship, as I was someone he feels embodies this characteristic.

As husbands, fathers, providers and men, we often move fast, constantly juggling our obligations and responsibilities. We're focused on serving others, accomplishing our goals and wrestling with the persistent feelings of coming up short. 

This often leads to impostor syndrome, making us feel as though, no matter how far we've come, there's always so much further to go. We rarely take a moment to reflect on our self-reliance, our achievements, and the progress we've made. Receiving Josh's email was a validation in its own right, prompting me to think about what I wanted to share.

In the fast-paced world of entrepreneurship, the ability to be self-reliant and to own the outcomes you crave is paramount. Self-reliance is not just a trait; it's a cornerstone of success. It's about taking responsibility for your actions, decisions, and ultimately your success.

The truth is, I didn't set out to be self-reliant. Growing up, I thought I had an easy, albeit obvious path ahead: I would work for my father. He was an entrepreneur who had built several businesses. More importantly, I wanted to work with him, both in business and life.

But when my father passed away, I was forced to rethink how I would live the rest of my life. The path I saw for my future no longer existed. In retrospect, his passing gave me a gift: The opportunity to be whoever I wanted and do whatever I wanted. It made me forge my own path.

• In my 20s, I was in the film industry and produced a few moderately successful independent films. 

• In my 30s, I moved to Houston, got married, had a couple of kids, and started a children's sports home video company, which was ultimately sold to Michael Eisner. 

• In my 40s, I switched from risk taker to a risk manager, investing and working in an insurance and risk management firm. 

• I also hosted a television show to build my network and opened a failed indoor rowing studio.

• At 47, I embarked on a three-year transformational journey to maximize middle age and envision what the next  phase of my life would look like.

Self-reliance isn't about being selfish or standoffish

Nor does it mean going it alone. It's quite the opposite.

You become self-reliant so that others can rely on you. 

You become self-reliant because others rely on you.  

And you become self reliant so that you can actually be self-reliant.

The greatest entrepreneurs, friends and successful men I know are self-reliant because they want to be reliable for others as well as themselves. 

In any room, team or organization, there are always a few people who stand out—the ones you'd draft first, the ones you'd want around you, the ones you'd start a company with.

It doesn't matter what the company or project is; you’re like “I want that guy.  He’s a winner. Period.” Some people just have that quality about them and they radiate competence, confidence, capability and conviction. The phrase kicked around at Masterclass was “Legends do the work.”

It's about being capable, wanting the ball, and knowing you can take the ball and run with it. It's knowing that, if everything were taken away tomorrow, you'd find a way to get back on your feet and make it happen all over again. If anyone in your orbit needs help, you're the person they look to.

You can be that guy.  I believe that.

I wanted to share some key takeaways on being self-reliant that I picked up in Detroit and spoke about in my talk. They apply as much to maximizing midlife as they do to entrepreneurship. 

Agency and Ownership

Take full responsibility for your life and work.

The Art of the Response

Master how you react to challenges.

Value Stacking

Continuously add value in all endeavors.

The Power of Words and Ideas 

Communicate with passion and conviction.

Embracing Rejection

Rejection is a necessary step towards success.

Community and Collaboration

Prioritize connection and cooperation over competition.

Self-Reliance

Cultivate an entrepreneurial mindset.

Whether you speak on one stage, a hundred stages or just live on the stage of life, it’s essential to have a thoughtful plan, clear roadmap, strategic approach and plenty of support.

The real work begins when we leave the masterclass, put down the book, say “Enough!” to analysis paralysis and re-enter the arena itself. It’s all in the doing.

The truth is that we're all entrepreneurs, we’re all in sales and we’re all the CEOs of our own lives. We’re also humans. Self-reliance, capability and living our message fully and intentionally each day is what defines us.

Take, for example, my own journey. I’m betting on myself.  When I decided to pivot my career and focus on helping midlife men maximize their potential, I didn’t wait for an opportunity to present itself. I created one. At 51, I leveraged my experience, knowledge and passion to build a platform that inspires and empowers others.

I didn’t rely on external validation or support to drive my mission forward. I took ownership of my goals, set standards and am working tirelessly to achieve them.  

Am I there yet? No?

Do I suffer from imposter syndrome? Yes.

Have I made countless mistakes and missteps? Absolutely.

Will I make more? Certainly.

Am I unapologetic and committed? 100%.  

Strive to become self-reliant. 

Strive to become capable. 

Strive to live your message and maximize your life. Because in your own head and heart, and in the heads and hearts of others, it matters. ◆

Beat the heat*

A big heat wave is gripping the nation this week. A tub full of cold water doesn’t sound so bad anymore, does it? 😜

In all seriousness, though, summer is the best time of year to experiment with cold plunges, cold showers and contrast therapy. It’s already hot, and if you’re exercising outside, you might even be doing stuff like this anyway just to bring your body temperature down.

When your body goes from warm to cold, vasoconstriction occurs. This helps your body flush out inflammation and toxins. Since cold therapy is also technically a body stressor, it activates the vagus nerve, which helps calm you down.

If you like natural sources of energy and want to lean into cold therapy this year, consider checking out Plunge. Plunge offers a temperature-controlled plunge pool that fits perfectly in your backyard. It keeps the water exactly at the temperature you want, every time, which makes habit-building a breeze.

Learn more about Plunge here and use code MidlifeMale for $150 off.

*Partner content

Did something in this newsletter resonate with you this week? Reply and let me know.

In Health,

—Greg