Return on Life vs Return on Investment

Here’s what you figure out in midlife:

You stop the hustle and grind, and you get strategic and tactical. You start thinking more about return on life, not just return on investment, and a lot less about cost and expenses. Of course, I’m not just talking about money.

You realize that real success isn’t the accumulation of wisdom. It’s the application of it. I’m the perfect example.

I spent three years interviewing the highest-performing men in the world, doing what they told me, and changing my life. That experience became my book. Then I spent $80,000 to write a keynote, build a website, and develop my personal brand. I learned that while I love speaking, I can’t stand corporate gigs and airports. Then I launched the newsletter. Then I spent $100,000 going to events and experiences to “find myself” and give myself something to write about.

I can tell you firsthand what a high-performance lifestyle is supposed to look like, and it’s not something to aspire to. I can tell you what a silent week in the woods feels like. It sucks. I can tell you what crying in a circle with other men feels like. Extremely uncomfortable. 

On the other hand, climbing a mountain for 36 hours straight feels euphoric, which is why I’m going back for my fifth straight year. Holding my breath underwater longer than I thought I could survive feels out of body. I’ve been so hot in saunas I thought I was melting, and so cold in ice baths I couldn’t move my lips.

I’ve listened to too many biohacking podcasts, read too many self-help books, and consumed too much advice, and none of it got me to where I am today or where I'm going tomorrow. If anything, it was crippling.

What I learned is that none of it really matters.

It only matters if it matters to you and gets you to where you want to go.

In order for me to be where I’m at now, with the Midlife Male newsletter crossing 30,000 readers and our first sold out, in-person event already under our belts and four more planned next year, the chips had to fall the way they did.

Things needed to happen this way for me. It needed to take all these years. It needed all the testing and retesting, the trial and error. Because that’s how we learn. You may learn a different way.

One thing I can say for sure is that when you willingly subject yourself to all these things, you realize how meaningless so much of what you thought would be meaningful really is.

You can’t buy your way to happiness or contentment. No seminar will solve all your problems. No speaker has the answers for you.

That’s the paradox of midlife. You stop chasing and start choosing. You stop obsessing over performance and start measuring fulfillment. You realize that meaning isn’t found in more. It’s found in enough.

This week, meaning for me showed up in a run of good fortune, small wins and things that have happened because I’ve chosen to live intentionally and hard work compounds.

I had a call with my friend Chris Robbins and Kristi at Butterfield & Robinson and we’re planning a bike trip in Europe for 2026.

Laird Hamilton followed me on Instagram.

I had a call with Taylor at Big Ass Calendar Club. I love her and Jesse Itzler.

My friend Scott MacGregor, who’ll be on our cover this Sunday, connected us. Nothing feels better than when people you admire and respect are confident enough to refer others to you.

Bart Foster, who was on our cover a few months back, invited me to hike the Skyline Traverse in a couple of weeks. Twenty miles, five peaks, with a group of amazing humans.

The value of connection and staying prepared physically allows me to say yes to these things.

I got a handwritten thank-you from Sterling Hawkins for the Miami experience.

A text from my friends Brett and Anne with a picture of their future son.

Lunch with Chef Seth Siegel-Gardner about a major food and fitness event in Lockhart, Texas, that I want to bring all my friends to.

Registration went live for my MEA workshop in Todos Santos in April 2026, alongside Chip Conley, Arthur Brooks, Daniel Pink, Jerry Colonna, and others I admire.

I sent five invites to guys for my private group in 2026. All five said yes. We’ll get to fifteen by the end of the year.

And I signed a contract to take ten men to Sun Valley for 29029 in September 2026.

How does all this happen?

Simple.

As soon as you pay more attention to your return on life vs. your return on investment, you open yourself up to brand new possibilities.

Presented By: SWIMCLUB

At 52, I’ve learned what I wish I knew in my late 20s and 30s, that fertility isn’t just a women’s issue. Men struggle too, often silently. I did and I didn’t know it. We assume our virility and vitality will always be there until they’re not. Fertility is about more than making babies. It’s about hormone balance, energy, and long-term health.

I’m done having kids. Mine are already in their 20s. Ironically, you spend a lot of years as a parent hoping your sons don’t get anyone pregnant, and then in your 50s, you start envisioning becoming young grandparents. I want my boys to be educated.

That’s why SwimClub matters. It’s science-backed, built for men, and focuses on the key drivers of male fertility: sperm health, testosterone support, and reducing oxidative stress. It helps you feel better, perform better, and preserve what matters most.

If I’d known then what I know now, I would have started taking care of this part of my health much earlier.

In health,

PS: I’m taking new 1:1 coaching clients to finish ‘25 strong and start ‘26 stronger. It’s not about resolutions. It’s about practicing resolve. Book your call with me to see if we’re a good fit here.

Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach. Student of the game.
Still walking the walk.