Greg here! Welcome to The Middle, the mid-week newsletter where I share real stories and recommendations directly from me to you.

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Why I Gave My Wife the Gift of Less This Year

By Greg Scheinman 

My wife, Kate, turned 56 this past weekend. One thing we’ve both agreed on as we’ve gotten older is that we really value experiences over things. And they don’t always have to be big or super expensive experiences. More often, they just need to be about us and what brings us joy.

So, in planning for Kate’s birthday this year, I asked her what she wanted to do, where she wanted to go, if there was anything she had her eye on, and what the boys could do for her. What she really wanted was just to have some friends over for dinner at our house.

She wanted me to grill filets, pick up a couple bottles of Veuve Clicquot, a key lime pie, make a great salad and sides, and just have our friends Michael and Debbie over. Harper was going to be away for the weekend with his buddies, tubing down the Frio River. Auden was going to be in Boulder. And when they’re all home in a couple of weeks, we’ll celebrate again.

No Returns, Just Rituals

I’ve also learned over the years that no matter what I buy Kate as a gift, it is going back. Not because she doesn’t like or appreciate it, but because she loves the experience of shopping more than simply accepting what’s presented to her. Sometimes—though not often—she comes home with exactly what I got her the first time. She just can’t deal with the fear of the unknown, that there may be something else out there she’d like more. So I’ve stopped doing it.

Now, this might seem insensitive to some, or lacking thought or romance. But there’s actually more thought that goes into it. She appreciates the gesture much more when I write her a great card or letter and put an envelope of cash in there. With two kids in college now, the envelope wasn’t as thick as it used to be. But remember, this is about experiences, not things.

A Quick Coastal Reset

The next day, we drove out to Galveston because she wanted to check out this new hotel and restaurant. It’s about a 45-minute to an hour drive from Houston, and we hadn’t been in years. The Hotel Lucine was adorable, in a renovated, hipster, minimalist kind of way. We walked on the beach. We had a great dinner at The Fancy restaurant (seriously, that’s the name). They happened to have live music—what they called “Sounds and Sips”—on their rooftop.

The band was awesome, a group called Rattlesnake Milk. If you’re into that loungy, groovy, Chris Isaak–style sound, they’re worth listening to. We chilled in the room for a while after the music and ultimately decided not to spend the night. We got ice cream, walked around the Strand, and drove home because Kate wanted to sleep in our own bed and work out the next morning. Which was fine by me.

All in all, a really great weekend. And I hope, a very happy birthday.

In health,

Greg

Coaching Lately…

What the Most Successful Midlife Men Do Differently

After interviewing 200-plus of the most high-performing midlife males in the world—athletes, entrepreneurs, doctors, Navy SEALs, Grammy winners—you name it, I’ve noticed something.

At first, I thought success looked different in every field. Different industries, different playbooks.

I was wrong.

The more I listened, the more I saw the pattern. Every one of these men had something in common: they had a plan. A MAP. A Midlife Action Plan.

They didn’t wake up and wing it. They were intentional. They built lives by design, not by default.

4 Habits I See Again and Again

1. They own their mornings.

This doesn’t mean you need a 25-step, two-hour morning routine. It just means you have an intentional plan for how you operate each morning. One entrepreneur told me he writes down the three personal and three professional things he’s going to tackle each day. I’ve since incorporated that because it’s simple, clear, and sets the tone.

2. They map it out.

Every guy I interviewed had a system to prioritize what actually matters. Not just random to-do lists, but a MAP for their life. Because goals without habits, behaviors, standards, and a plan become just hope.

3. They’re not busy. They’re productive.

Anyone can be busy. These men maximize time through prioritization and intention. They eliminate distractions and execute. That discipline also gives them space for creativity and enjoyment.

4. They don’t get rattled.

Life throws curveballs. Family issues. Deals that fall apart. Business chaos. These men stay grounded because they’ve built purpose into their process. And they know the payoff comes from sticking to it.

You Need a MAP. Not More Motivation.

Early mornings. A clear plan. Focused execution. Staying calm when things get chaotic.

This is what the Midlife Action Plan is all about: living with intention instead of confusion, and building a life that works because you work the plan.

If you’re interested in developing your own MAP, reply to this email. I work with a select few guys one on one every 90 days to help them maximize middle age.

Gear That Helps You Work the Plan

Speaking of plans, the team at Finisher Secrets sent me one of their planners. It’s built around habits, goals, and tracking progress, with plenty of space for notes. I’ve been using it for the past month and I really like the layout.

You can check it out here.

Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach. Student of the game.
Still walking the walk.