Morning, Greg here!

Welcome to Midlife Male, the fastest-growing, #1 newsletter and lifestyle brand for men 40+. In this issue, my How I See It discusses why it bothers me so much that the wrong men keep making the news (and why they’re not us!), Jon’s Manologue is a fun nostalgia hit about how we’re all turning into Tony Soprano, and Ron Speaker explains his “Million Dollar Summer Job” philosophy and much more. If a fellow MLM reader shared this with you, subscribe here:

Look, I take a lot of pride in how I live my life today. I didn’t always, and it cost me when I was younger. It really bothers me that the only headlines we’re seeing these days about middle aged men are guys behaving badly. 

This is not representative of the majority of men. It’s just not. What it is, is a tiny, distorted slice of the male population, that of course, gets amplified by legacy media. 

I am not excusing the misdeeds or misgivings of any of these individuals (who I don’t even feel like naming – you know them). They should be held accountable. And to scrutiny. Including publicly. But, let’s be clear.  It’s not all of us. It’s not the majority of us. It’s not the men I know, not the men I coach, not the men we interview and have conversations with and showcase each week at Midlife Male.

Yet, if you open any app, here’s what you’ll see:  This guy cheated. This guy’s a creep. This guy’s a predator. This guy’s a fraud. And you know what? They’re all over 40. Which subtly says, middle-aged men are the problem. 

And that’s just not true. 

These guys aren’t us.

You just never see headlines about “us” because we’re not doing things that generate controversial, “if it bleeds, it leads”  headlines. 

We’re simply living quality lives as husbands, fathers, friends and overall good guys. At least that’s the goal. Nobody’s perfect, obviously.

But I’m sick of the current news cycle because it makes it seem like middle-aged men are imploding everywhere, when in reality it’s a handful of prominent guys dominating the conversation and coverage for ratings and clicks, because visibility gets confused with a majority.

When you’re a bad human, you’re not one of us. I don’t care how many books you’ve sold, podcast downloads you have or your net worth. Let me tell you what I do care about…

Read the full How I See It HERE:

When the Sopranos came out in January of 1999 I was twenty-one-years old. I’d grown up on a steady diet of incredible, cult-classic mafia movies: Donnie Brasco. Casino. A Bronx Tale. Carlito’s Way. My friends and I could quote half of Goodfellas by the time we got our driver’s licenses. 

“Funny how? I mean, funny like I’m a clown? Like I amuse you?”

So when we heard that HBO (the old school HBO, the one where every big, new show felt like a BIG, NEW SHOW), was releasing something called The Sopranos, about a New Jersey Mafia boss, we were pumped. More than pumped, actually.

It was more like, “Holy shit, we’re getting a bad ass new mob movie every week? On HBO? Where they can swear and show nudity and real violence? Let’s gooo!!!” 

As a young guy watching, Tony Soprano (embodied perfectly by James Gandolfini) became an instant TV icon, AJ became the dipshit son of the powerful dad that you knew back home, Meadow was the kinda cute girl down the street and Carmela reminded any of us who lived in North Jersey of about ten different friend’s moms.

Then Tony’s crew was damn near perfect entertainment: Silvio. Paulie Walnuts. Big Pussy. Christopher.

At the time, hell yeah, I was in it for the cool, R-rated stuff. The mob stuff. The characters busting each other’s balls. The heists. The stand-offs. The fights. The hierarchy decisions. The rival families. The bloody takeovers. The threats. It was awesome.

But here’s the funny thing…

It’s been two full decades and I decided to watch the show again for a bunch of reasons. Call it nostalgia or most new shows don’t interest me or that I’ve been hankering for a peek back into my Jersey childhood, whatever… I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I was curious to see if it was as good as I remembered. Here’s what I discovered:

The Sopranos is an entirely new show for me because now I have a teenage son and daughter. Now I have the responsibilities that Tony had (minus the mob boss and goomah issues).

If you watched the show back when it was on and you’re around my age, I strongly urge you to at least go back and watch Episode 1. It is a glimpse into an entirely different world (no phones, no cameras), but also, into your modern dad life right now.

If I knew nothing about it, and you asked me what the show is about after watching Episode 1, I might say something like this:

It’s about a married dad with an insanely stressful job. He’s trying to be a good husband to his wife, but because of his job, he’s got temptation all around and acts on it. He feels powerful all day and sometimes, powerless in his own house. He gets frustrated at the chaos coming from all sides all the time...

I’m telling you, read this column. It’ll blow your mind if you watched the show as college kid or young single guy:

by: Ron Speaker

As a father of twin thirteen-year-old boys, I’m strongly encouraging them to get their first summer jobs next year. I want them to earn their own money toward a car at sixteen, to witness firsthand how taxes shrink a paycheck, and most importantly, to gain the kind of perspective that no classroom can teach: what it actually takes to build a million-dollar business.

The Backstory

During my 38-year career as an investment manager, I interviewed over 200 job applicants, from state colleges to Ivy League institutions. I designed what I thought was an innocuous question that revealed the most helpful insight into their practical business knowledge while testing their math under pressure.

After the pleasantries about college experiences and career ambitions, I’d ask a two-part question.

What is your estimate of the annual sales of the McDonald’s franchise down the street, the one with the sign out front that proudly says “Over $1 Billion Served”?

Candidates without real-world job experience sometimes fell for my trick and guessed $1 or $2 billion, revealing they had no perspective at all. Others would guess $150,000 to $300,000 for a business running 16 to 20 hours a day with 30 employees. I didn’t hold it against them just yet, but I could see the nerves setting in.

For the second part, I’d hand them a blank sheet of paper and ask them to build a simple financial model to support their estimate, no calculators, no phones. The more analytically gifted candidates would dive deep, trying to estimate quantities of every menu item and its cost until the page was full and they were fully confused. Others would work from daily traffic and average customer spend, then multiply by 365 to get an annual figure. I was often disappointed watching graduates from the best universities struggle with basic arithmetic under pressure and arrive at numbers that made no sense…

Read about the realization this led me to about the one essential entrepreneurial skill that can’t be taught HERE:

There’s a new trend called “Admin Night” where friends or couples get together specifically to knock this stuff out. Laptops open. Paperwork stacked. Food and drinks on the table. Misery loves company, but productivity loves accountability.

Instead of dreading a solo Sunday night of procrastination, you turn it into a working dinner party. When you leave, the list is shorter and your head is clearer.

Midlife lesson: don’t white-knuckle the boring stuff alone. Put it on the calendar. Make it social. Get it done. Read about the trend here.

We all have friends, couples, and even our grown kids who’ve struggled with fertility.  Kate and I struggled with it for years.  And couples are having children later in life, which means men need to keep their swimmers in fighting form. I’ve been waiting to share this with y’all for a while now and I finally can.  

My friend Osman Khan just launched SwimClub, the first clinically-formulated sperm performance supplement, with a mission to reshape the conversation around male reproductive health.  Three years ago, Osman and his wife Lauren went through several rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages before they had their son. Throughout, they did everything to maximize their chances.  

What he learned was that it’s alarming how wildly inadequate almost all existing sperm health supplements are. There needed to be a better science-backed solution with a complete stack of the highest quality ingredients with all the clinical requirements needed to affect sperm health. No fillers, no boosters, no add ons, just everything you need at the doses you need it in, in one solution. 

The narrative around men’s fertility needs to change. Much like the transformation of the dialogue in ED and hair loss, it stands to reason that a brand was needed that spoke to men more directly about one of the most fundamental "emotional health" concerns, fertility. And shifting the legacy narrative of fertility as a proxy for virility to one of fertility as a source of vitality and potential. And that’s the mission of SwimClub. I interviewed Osman to talk about not only the mission of SwimClub, but about the life he led to put him in the CEO’s seat. Watch it here.

Nutrition isn’t a diet. It’s a lifestyle.

These days it’s simple for us: chicken, beef, fish, eggs. More salads. Bananas and berries daily. Sourdough pasta. Homemade pizza. Baked potatoes are back. Chili’s in rotation.

Grilled wings and chicken thighs instead of fried. Air fry or bake and you won’t miss the grease. Fresh mozzarella. Homemade sauces. Olive oil over butter. Shop the perimeter of the store.

Caviar on eggs or potatoes as a low-key indulgence. Fish and shrimp tacos more often. Pineapple salsa is an underused condiment.

No alcohol. Water and coffee. Eat mostly at home. Go out for what you can’t do better yourself. Sushi. Great BBQ.

And yes, a cookie or a GoodPop most nights. Zero guilt.

Little choices. Big compounding effect.

On a recent trip to California, we found Industry of All Nations, grabbed a few T-shirts and learned about their philosophy: 

Make products where the raw materials come from. Honor ancestral methods. Pair them with modern standards. Avoid toxins. Respect heritage.

In a world of fast fashion and throwaway trends, it feels good to wear something made with intention.

Quality over quantity. Fewer pieces. Better pieces. Support brands that stand for something.

Style should feel good. On you and about you. Check them out here.

There’s a new series on Hulu about John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. If you grew up in the 90s, it hits.

Back when Kate Moss and Mark Wahlberg were blowing up in Calvin Klein ads. When JFK Jr. launched George and New York felt like the center of style, politics, media, and ambition.

Is it sensationalized? Of course. Is it perfectly accurate? Probably not.

Is it entertaining? Absolutely.

Sometimes fun is just sitting down, revisiting an era you came of age in, and remembering who you were before life got so serious.

In this episode, Greg and Jon expand on one of our most popular columns, Fight Club Was Right: Why Guys Need Single Serving Friends.

What is a single serving friend?

Single serving friends perform specific functions in your adult male life and you’re ONLY friends with them for that reason. And it’s perfectly fine. In fact, it’s better than perfectly fine. It’s awesome. Most guys I know have no problem with this at all.

How do I know this?

Because although you never, ever discuss boundaries or your relationship, you know exactly where you each stand and it goes something like this:

“We’re friends because of this one thing, and while we do this one thing, we’ll talk and text and laugh and have a good time, but outside of this one thing, we’re good. No need to cross over. No need to grab a coffee or dinner with our wives or catch a game together. Our friendship is based on this one thing and we’re both content with that.”

The guys share a bunch of examples from their personal lives in this episode and their conversation is sure to make you laugh and think:

MLM Founder: Greg Scheinman / Follow Greg on Instagram & LinkedIn

Love Greg’s How I See It column? Visit the full How I See It Archive HERE where he shares his personal insights, experiences and perspectives on everything affecting midlife.

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MLM Editor-in-Chief: Jon Finkel / Follow Jon on Twitter/X and Instagram

Love Jon’s Manologue column? Check out the full Manologue Archive HERE where he writes about pop culture, parenthood, sports, nostalgia & everything in between.