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What Midlife Really Feels Like (But Nobody Admits)

Most Days You're Hit with Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

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Midlife Isn’t One Thing



If I’ve learned anything over the last decade, it’s that midlife is rarely about one thing. It’s deep, nuanced, imperfect, confusing, and clear all at the same time. It’s full of fantastic wins and simple joys and daily frustrations and pain you never see coming. And it can be overwhelming, if you let it. That’s why the goal for this period of our lives is simple: Master the middle. Not by comparing or competing, but by becoming the best versions of ourselves. By being able to look in the mirror and be proud of the man staring back. If you currently feel this way, keep going. If you don’t, make the changes you already know you need to make.

All at Once

This week is a big one for me because for the first time ever we’re taking both of our sons to college. In the span of about 5 days my wife and I will move our boys into college (one into his apartment and the other into his dorm) and then be on our own. I’m emotional just writing about it. But life doesn’t stop for big events. It keeps going and you need to stay in the moment. One way I cope is to break things down into individual pieces and focus on them as they come. 

This past week, that has meant a 16-hour car ride with my son while adjusting my schedule to keep writing, keep seeing clients, and to stay consistent with my fitness and mindset.

I’m also handling a business deal I’m pulling money out of, the emotional cost of confronting someone who has disappointed me and the daily success we’re seeing with Midlife Male as several of our recent columns have gone mainstream and we want to capitalize on that.

It’s messy…

Wins. Losses. Family. Finance. Success. 

It’s all happening at the same time. 

That’s midlife.

Simplicity Matters

What I keep coming back to is simplicity. Because the little things are the big things.

Sixteen hours in the car with my son. No phones, just us. Talking. Driving through Texas and Colorado. One of our favorite traditions.

With my son Auden, I felt connected. At peace. One morning, as we crossed into Oklahoma with the sun blazing to our left, driving down Donald J. Trump Highway (yes, that’s a thing…) while listening to I’m on Fire by Springsteen, I thought, “Could it get any more American than this?”

By the time we hit Denver, we grabbed lunch at a food hall, checked out a Rockies game, and collapsed into naps before dinner. 

A morning hike, a plunge, some writing, a few coaching calls. Life is busy, but when I simplify, it all feels aligned.

We had breakfast with Sterling Hawkins, an incredible human being. The best part was sitting back and watching my son and him talk. I got great joy out of listening, observing, and accepting this conclusion: he’s a real adult now.

Integrity Above All

I do my best to write honestly, speak honestly, and live honestly. My fuse is short when others don’t. Just this week, I pulled out of a venture fund because I lost trust in the founder. I don’t care if it’s going to make money. I can’t be in business with people whose words and actions don’t align. Life is too short.

What Really Matters

What I love is being present with my kids. That they see what’s important to me: get up, work out, eat healthy, serve clients, write, and then commit to them. That’s what matters most.

I wake up early no matter where I am. Walking down Arapahoe in Boulder at 6:45 am, I hear my name being called. Bart Foster flagged me down. He was already headed home from a workout. I was grabbing a coffee. These are the little moments. A reminder that healthy, successful people show up for themselves over and over. You’ll read all about him very soon…

The Long View

I’m an older guy with an older audience now, and in the best way. My recent empty nest column hit 224,000 views with hundreds of comments and emails from others going through the same thing. That’s connection. That’s my reality now.

I also remember my own college move-in. My mom was there. My dad wasn’t; he was bedridden with cancer. She told anyone who would listen that her husband was dying, and then she’d cry. I was mortified, embarrassed, insecure. People didn’t know what to say. It was supposed to be a happy day, and it wasn’t. You never know what anyone is going through. I felt bad for her and angry at the same time.

New Chapters

Now, decades later, after getting my oldest son, Auden, squared away, I’m about to move my youngest son, Harper, into college in Los Angeles. My wife is sad. I don’t like when my wife is sad. We’re gonna stay in LA for a few extra days and my goal is to make her smile.

Tonight, I’m staying in a lonely Denver airport hotel. No Auden. Harper and Kate are back home. I’ll meet them in LA tomorrow for what will be heartbreaking and exciting. Exciting for him, heartbreaking for us. That’s the middle.

The day after writing… in LA with Kate and Harper

Acceptance Over Control

Midlife isn’t about one thing. It’s about everything, all at once. The joy, the pain, the wins, the losses, the clarity, the confusion.

The key isn’t control, it’s acceptance. Simplify. Connect. Be honest. Stay present.

Remember: Enjoy the little things. They’re the big things.

In health,

Greg

Midlife Lately….

A Conversation with JJ Gottsch

Last week I had the chance to sit down with JJ Gottsch, the CEO of the Austin Gamblers. If you’re not familiar, the Gamblers are part of the Professional Bull Riders (PBR) Team Series. They take 40 of the best bulls in the world, 40 of the best riders in the world, split them into 8 teams, and send them head-to-head all across the country.

This is not your local rodeo. These are big-time productions. Music, pyro, cowboys, bulls that shake the arena. It’s intense, it’s exciting, and it’s selling out venues in Nashville, New York, Austin, and more.

JJ and I talked about his career, how he went from working alongside Nolan Ryan to running some of the most successful minor league baseball teams, and now making the leap into professional bull riding. We covered family, health, transitions, and what it takes to reinvent yourself in midlife. You’ll get  all of that in the full interview soon; but for now, here’s the fun part: the Austin Gamblers are hosting their biggest event of the year this weekend in Austin.

I’ve always loved trying new things, and this is one of them. If you’re anywhere near Austin, grab your family, grab some friends, and go check it out. If the PBR is coming through your town, check them out. It’s an experience.

Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach. Student of the game.
Still walking the walk.

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